How to prevent calendar notifications from stealing focus?

[flyaway3]

I use Thunderbird with the Lightning calendar on Windows. A dialog/window shows up properly every time there is a reminder due (and I do want to have reminders!), but its behavior very much annoys me for two reasons:

#1 The moment the reminder window opens, it comes to the foreground, on top of every other window;
#2 simultaneously, it also steals the focus of my keyboard and mouse.

#1 is the smaller problem, although I wish I could make it not even come to the foreground. The window showing up on the taskbar, flashing, staying highlighted, then after a time starting to flash again is quite enough to let me know.

However, #2 is the worst Whatever I am doing at that moment, it interrupts my action and all the keystrokes will go to the reminder window until I click out of it or switch windows.

Can anyone tell me how to prevent/modify either behavior #1 or #2? Thank you very much!